Sunday, September 23, 2012

Holy Miscommunication Batman!

We have just arrived at a party. "Why is that clown so early, Mom?", I overhear. We're maybe 10 minutes early. That gives us set-up time. The Husband asks the family where he should set up; dad shows us where and the Husband shows the birthday boy that his red nose isn't real so he stops crying.
Then mom comes out. "What's your name?"
"The Husband."
"What about (insert Mexican friend clown name here)?"
"I'm his substitute," the Husband replies.
"What are you talking about?" she asks.
"He called me on Thursday. He said he needed me to do this party for him Because he couldn't do it, he had talked to you about me coming in his stead." This is standard procedure for us. We've done this at least 3 times.
Apparently the Husband's buddy did NOT tell then someone else was coming. We'll see what happens.

Saturday, September 22, 2012


The Husband is rearranging his trunk of clown equipment (stuffing in the prizes!) when the Son picks the bright red kazoo off the floor. He sticks it in his mouth and proceeds to be the musical prodigy that he is (WHO YOU CALLIN' BIASED?!). The Husband is completely astonished. "He can work that kazoo!"
"Why, can't you?" I ask.
"NO!" the Husband exclaims.
Holding in giggles, I request to try the kazoo. The Son promptly hands it to me and I try it out. It works fine.
"Try blowing in a different way," I suggest.
The second attempt is not fruitful. The Husband laughs and says, "I can't do it!"
We all laugh together. The man who can make Buzz Lightyear out of balloons is incapable of playing the kazoo.

Saturday, September 15, 2012

Ringling Bros 2012

We went to the circus last night with one of the Husband's clown alleys. The Husband loved the clowns, the Son loved the horses and elephants, and I loved the clash between Bonkers and the Crazy Conspiracy Theorist. Yes, those are 2 of the clowns who came with us and no Bonkers isn't actually bonkers...but yes Crazy Conspiracy Theorist actually is a crazy conspiracy theorist.
At intermission, Bonkers bought a pastel latex clown wig to please his daughter. Of course, he put it on his head and started babbling about how cool it is that he finally has hair again (he's a bald clown, how could he resist that line?). The Crazy Conspiracy Theorist from 4 rows behind him, stands up, marches down the stairs, bends down to him and says in an urgent low voice, "Bonkers, you take that silly thing off you right now!"
Bonkers shrugs and turns to talk to his daughter. Then he turns around to ask me, "Is it me?" After I had assured him that he looked fabulous, Bonkers continued to play around with his daughter talking up how great he looks in pink and having a good time. Suddenly I hear the Crazy Conspiracy Theorist say, "Bonkers. I do not know you." I look at the Husband trying not to snicker at the irony of the Crazy Conspiracy Theorist being embarrassed about being seen in the presence of Bonkers. The Husband grins at me when all of a sudden, Bonkers stands up and turns around. He puts on an extremely winning grin, waves as enthusiastically as possible and shouts, "HI CRAZY CONSPIRACY THEORIST! It's nice to see you here!"