Friday, September 27, 2013

My Epitaph

I am amazing with bananas. No matter how little a stem our school district's food service leaves upon the bananas, I can still open them with my bare hands and without dirtying my fingernails. The first time I showed the 2nd and 3rd graders (I'm their Lunch Supervisor) how to accomplish this feat with an otherwise unyielding banana last year, I was awarded with the spontaneous applause of all 120 of them. I have since been known as the Fruit Ninja. Needless to say, this is among my proudest accomplishments. As I just opened a banana for the Son, I told the Husband how much I would like to have that on my tombstone. Yes, it will bewilder many a future genealogist, but what a great story for them to stumble upon! The Wife, Fruit Ninja of the Midwest! The Husband thinks I'm joking, but I am not. This expenditure is totally worth it because I will become a family LEGEND. My tombstone shall read, "The Wife, Amazing Wife, Mother, Teacher, & Fruit Ninja of the Midwest. Birthdate-Deathdate." Seriously, people. This shall be my legacy!
I may be making a How To Be a Fruit Ninja video on YouTube. Stay tuned.

Saturday, September 21, 2013


The school where I teach is an inner city school comprised of children whose families originally came from Mexico. As a shout out to the majority of our kids' heritage, the parent group at our school has a huge fundraiser in celebration of Mexican Independence Day. It's always a really fun event. Last year as well as this year my husband sold balloons (all proceeds going to the school of course!).  This year I kept all the tickets (see the picture below) so we could see exact numbers. He sold 142 balloons in under 2 hours!
Now let's hope all the people I had to turn away because the event was ending don't take it too hard. Let's also hope all the people I caught cutting in line and sent to the end also don't take it too hard. Clowning is a rough business and sometimes you need the Wife to stand up to overzealous customers. Now I'm off to make a "I'm the last person in line!" sign. (Although I've heard those don't always work. Sometimes people just keep handing it back to the next person to arrive at the line.)

Tuesday, September 3, 2013


I woke the Son up when I fell down the stairs (I fell LOUDly). He is back to bed and I do believe I only have rug burns, but it's hard to tell since I took an ibuprofen right away. When the Husband came home from the clown alley meeting, I told him what happened. His response, "Again?"
And people wonder why I don't even bother to learn how to do spinning plates...