Friday, September 27, 2013

My Epitaph

I am amazing with bananas. No matter how little a stem our school district's food service leaves upon the bananas, I can still open them with my bare hands and without dirtying my fingernails. The first time I showed the 2nd and 3rd graders (I'm their Lunch Supervisor) how to accomplish this feat with an otherwise unyielding banana last year, I was awarded with the spontaneous applause of all 120 of them. I have since been known as the Fruit Ninja. Needless to say, this is among my proudest accomplishments. As I just opened a banana for the Son, I told the Husband how much I would like to have that on my tombstone. Yes, it will bewilder many a future genealogist, but what a great story for them to stumble upon! The Wife, Fruit Ninja of the Midwest! The Husband thinks I'm joking, but I am not. This expenditure is totally worth it because I will become a family LEGEND. My tombstone shall read, "The Wife, Amazing Wife, Mother, Teacher, & Fruit Ninja of the Midwest. Birthdate-Deathdate." Seriously, people. This shall be my legacy!
I may be making a How To Be a Fruit Ninja video on YouTube. Stay tuned.

No comments:

Post a Comment