Quantity of a certain beverage makes an impression.

This is never what I want to see when I walk into an elementary kid's party. We just got here, so it's too early to tell, but pray for happy drunks! (One day I'll tell the story of the mean drunk...)

Decisions, Decisions

The Son is 3; he's in a highly impressionable age group. The Husband's at a magician's conference. He wants us to come see the final magic show.
"So what?" you're probably thinking. I'd be thinking that too, except it's a conference of Christian magicians who use magic to promote the gospel. The magic's so cool and good that it gets any kid's attention and mine will probably start believing whatever it is they tell him. For most people who live in our area, there's still no problem; yet for me, there is. The Son and I are Unitarian Universalists and I do NOT approve of theology being presented to him as an absolute truth. (The Husband and I have been married 9 years and I still don't know what his religious beliefs are, but then I don't think he does either.)
I'd like to go-there's good magic and really nice people there. I'm just trying to figure out if there's a way to prepare the Son for the magic show so he doesn't get indoctrinated.

Naked

It's the Husband's birthday. We're at a taqueria. The Son is having a good time eating a gordita and making faces like those of the actors in the novelas on the TV. Suddenly, I notice the Husband's gripping at nothing. I give him a funny look. "I don't have any magic tricks," he says.
"In your pockets?" I inquire.
"No, in my HANDS...I don't feel right without them."
I make a confused grunt.
"I don't have any magic tricks in my hands to mess around with."
"You mean, by not having magic tricks to obsessively play with you feel like you're walking around without any clothes on?"
"Yeah, that's right," he replies.
I just shake my head. Never try to get inside a clown's head.