I let him clown at a party all by himself...

...and he comes home covered in flour and confetti!

Attack of the Flour Confetti Egg!

Bloodcurdling Screams are Beautiful

Last night, I sat the Son down at the table for a small snack of melon and cheese (he hadn't been hungry at dinner time). While I watched him eat, I saw him start letting melon fall out of his mouth. All of a sudden, he's gagging and he's making absolutely no sound at all. "HE'S CHOKING! HES CHOKING! HE'S CHOKING!", I scream. As I try to decide which to do first, 911 or Heimlich maneuver, there was a popping sound and it flew out of his mouth and onto his plate. The second the melon dislodged from his airway, the most horrifyingly long, loud, and shrill scream I've ever heard came out of his mouth. It's also the most beautiful sound I've ever heard. We are so grateful and blessed.

Make-up Teacher

The Husband has apparently graduated in the world of clown make-up.  Suddenly this summer he started helping two other men in his clown alley to develop their faces.  They've come over a couple of times to practice and they've had a wonderful time.  What's interesting is that the Husband went from this clown who had absolutely no confidence in his abilities to do his make-up and create a costume to someone who is teaching others how to do it.  It's been neat to see him blossom.

Different Socioeconomic Status, Different Ways of Spending Money

The Wife: I had this student who hadn't finished his work so I asked him if he wanted to finish it at home.
The Husband: Ok.
The Wife: He said he couldn't because his parents didn't have the money to buy him crayons.
The Husband: Ok.
The Wife: So I bought him some crayons to take home. Come January, all the kids are talking about what they got for Christmas. I get concerned thinking this student may not have gotten anything when I hear him say, "I got an Xbox."
The Husband: Huh.
The Wife: So I have to buy him crayons so his family can save up to get him an Xbox.
The Husband: Santa.
The Wife: What?
The Husband: It wasn't his family who got him the Xbox. It was Santa Claus.

4th of July Parade 2012

Schedule
6-wake up
6:30-walk the Dog so he doesn't become as much of a maniac when the neighbors start setting off illegal firecrackers (usually it doesn't bother me, but we're in a major drought and if their house goes up in flames chances are it'll travel to mine)
7:00-breakfast and pretend not to be irritated by the Husband's inquiries about the symmetry of his make-up
7:30-get the Son ready for his day
8:00-friends come over so the Husband can put on their daughter's make-up
8:30-leave
9:00-start parade line-up

Here's what really happened:
6:00-asleep
6:30-still asleep
7:00-the Husband gets up to do his make-up so I stagger out of bed just as the Son dances in
7:05-convince the Son it would be better to wear clothes in public
7:10-go out with the Dog to backyard to do his business, go back inside so I can do mine
7:20-get the Son dressed while explaining the virtues of breakfast
7:22-pop a couple ibuprofen for headache and sore throat feel coming on...only I would get a cold in the summer
7:40-realize I can't convince the Son to eat because I honestly don't want to eat either
8:00-friends come over, have awesome time watching their little joey (child clown) get ready
8:55-"SON YOU WILL GO POTTY NOW BEFORE WE LEAVE OR FACE MY WRATH!"
9:00-friend's daughter looks FABULOUS, we're all excited!, get in respective vehicles, leave
9:30-parade line-up, leave the Husband and friend's daughter with clown alley (If you're reading this, I would like to cash in on my free hug now, Slowpoke!)
10:00-watch and enjoy an awesome patriotic parade with friends featuring some of my very favorite and the world's newest clown. Not too short, not too long, have an awesome time. The Son collects an obscene amount of candy
11:00-the ibuprofens that I had taken earlier wear off and suddenly I feel like I'm dying and have a fever

I'm glad I lasted long enough to really enjoy the parade with our friends, but I was really bummed that I had exposed them all to strep throat. Stay healthy y'all!

Clowning's Still a Compulsion

Coins. I hate coins.
Not the concept of them having monetary value. I am fully in favor of us being able to divide the dollar into smaller denominations. I hate coins when The Husband is learning a new noisy coin trick.
It involves a champagne chiller and an invisible coin turning into a visible coin quite noisily. What's irritating now, is not only is he constantly practicing it in order to attain heretofore unseen levels of perfection, but HE ALREADY DOES IT PERFECTLY!!! So why is he still practicing? Does he want to drive The Dog and I over the edge?
I honestly don't think so. It's either a compulsion or the Husband genuinely thinks he needs to practice more ( its probably a combination of those things). So please, keep us in your thoughts, because if his compulsive low self-esteem behavior doesn't end soon, the champagne chiller may mysteriously disappear.

Business & Family Don't Go Together

"Did you talk to him about it yet?" I ask.
"No," says the Husband. Alarm bells go off in my head. We're 2 hours away from a party and he hasn't discussed price yet????
It's for his cousin; maybe the other cousins we've done parties for told him the price we gave them?
We're on the way to the party. "What price are you asking?"
"$80/hour."
"How many hours?"
"1 1/2."
Okay, so they must have discussed price. $120 is a lot of money.
We arrive at 4:30. No guests are there. Alarm bells go off in my head. The Husband is not going to start charging his cousin until his cousin asks him to start. I just know it. Even though the cousin asked him to show up at 4:30, he's not going to start the show until 5:30 or 6.
Ok. Fine. Family gets a discount. That's alright. I can live with that.
Fast forward to 9:00. The Husband asked me how long the show was. I'm really irritated, but I round way down for his cousin's sake. "An hour and a half?"
We say our good-byes. Lots of chitchat with the cousin. I look at the Husband's face. Something's not right.
I take the Son to the car, figuring the Husband will work it out. All of a sudden the Husband's at the car. "Please don't tell me 'I told you so."
The cousin didn't know the Husband charges for his show.
I didn't say "I told you so," but I sure thought it.