Quantity of a certain beverage makes an impression.

This is never what I want to see when I walk into an elementary kid's party. We just got here, so it's too early to tell, but pray for happy drunks! (One day I'll tell the story of the mean drunk...)

Decisions, Decisions

The Son is 3; he's in a highly impressionable age group. The Husband's at a magician's conference. He wants us to come see the final magic show.
"So what?" you're probably thinking. I'd be thinking that too, except it's a conference of Christian magicians who use magic to promote the gospel. The magic's so cool and good that it gets any kid's attention and mine will probably start believing whatever it is they tell him. For most people who live in our area, there's still no problem; yet for me, there is. The Son and I are Unitarian Universalists and I do NOT approve of theology being presented to him as an absolute truth. (The Husband and I have been married 9 years and I still don't know what his religious beliefs are, but then I don't think he does either.)
I'd like to go-there's good magic and really nice people there. I'm just trying to figure out if there's a way to prepare the Son for the magic show so he doesn't get indoctrinated.

Naked

It's the Husband's birthday. We're at a taqueria. The Son is having a good time eating a gordita and making faces like those of the actors in the novelas on the TV. Suddenly, I notice the Husband's gripping at nothing. I give him a funny look. "I don't have any magic tricks," he says.
"In your pockets?" I inquire.
"No, in my HANDS...I don't feel right without them."
I make a confused grunt.
"I don't have any magic tricks in my hands to mess around with."
"You mean, by not having magic tricks to obsessively play with you feel like you're walking around without any clothes on?"
"Yeah, that's right," he replies.
I just shake my head. Never try to get inside a clown's head.

I let him clown at a party all by himself...

...and he comes home covered in flour and confetti!

Attack of the Flour Confetti Egg!

Bloodcurdling Screams are Beautiful

Last night, I sat the Son down at the table for a small snack of melon and cheese (he hadn't been hungry at dinner time). While I watched him eat, I saw him start letting melon fall out of his mouth. All of a sudden, he's gagging and he's making absolutely no sound at all. "HE'S CHOKING! HES CHOKING! HE'S CHOKING!", I scream. As I try to decide which to do first, 911 or Heimlich maneuver, there was a popping sound and it flew out of his mouth and onto his plate. The second the melon dislodged from his airway, the most horrifyingly long, loud, and shrill scream I've ever heard came out of his mouth. It's also the most beautiful sound I've ever heard. We are so grateful and blessed.

Make-up Teacher

The Husband has apparently graduated in the world of clown make-up.  Suddenly this summer he started helping two other men in his clown alley to develop their faces.  They've come over a couple of times to practice and they've had a wonderful time.  What's interesting is that the Husband went from this clown who had absolutely no confidence in his abilities to do his make-up and create a costume to someone who is teaching others how to do it.  It's been neat to see him blossom.

Different Socioeconomic Status, Different Ways of Spending Money

The Wife: I had this student who hadn't finished his work so I asked him if he wanted to finish it at home.
The Husband: Ok.
The Wife: He said he couldn't because his parents didn't have the money to buy him crayons.
The Husband: Ok.
The Wife: So I bought him some crayons to take home. Come January, all the kids are talking about what they got for Christmas. I get concerned thinking this student may not have gotten anything when I hear him say, "I got an Xbox."
The Husband: Huh.
The Wife: So I have to buy him crayons so his family can save up to get him an Xbox.
The Husband: Santa.
The Wife: What?
The Husband: It wasn't his family who got him the Xbox. It was Santa Claus.